Transformation
by komiket
Summary: drabble prompt - transformation. in a genderswapped universe, Jen "Joker" Moreau and EDI - pronounced "Eddie" - work through their changing relationship after he takes over the Dr. Evan Core body. takes place during ME3.


Joker had invited EDI to come hang out with her for a bit in her quarters. They'd been sitting on the edge of her bed for a few minutes, in silence. EDI seemed lost in thought about something. He kept fitting his fingers together in different ways. He hadn't been in the Evan Core body long - was he still trying to calibrate it or something?

EDI finally spoke up. "Jen…I have a gift for you. Would it be acceptable to bring it in here?"

"Uh…sure! You didn't…that's really nice of you, EDI," Joker said with a smile.

"Please wait here," EDI propelled himself up off the edge of Joker's bed, where they'd been sitting. He leapt up so quickly he had to take a second to regain his balance. Man, he still didn't really have the hang of using that body yet (which was adorable.) He made his way out of the room, stopping to look back at Joker while the door closed. Was it just her, or did he seem…nervous?

She got bored waiting for EDI to come back after a few minutes. She flopped down on her bed, which was just more uncomfortable since she'd left her hat on. Her pigtails were messed up now, so she sat back up and started to redo them. EDI walked back in the door shortly after that, carrying a huge box that was practically the same size as his torso.

His eyes widened as soon as he saw Joker, and he hurriedly put the box down at the end of the bed - not very gently either, it made a hell of a sound meeting the floor. Joker just stared, with her fingers still in her hair.

"What's in the box?"

EDI didn't answer. He just kept his eyes fixed on Joker. He tried to sit down on the bed without looking away - that didn't go too well the first time - and he'd completely quit trying to pretend to blink. (Why did they give a robot such big eyelashes? Stupidly distracting…)

Why was there this weird air between them? Maybe telling EDI he could come hang out up here wasn't the best idea. Sure, she thought he was insanely hot - she'd liked weirder things before, so finding out she was a robosexual? Not that shocking. But, those feelings were all just on her side. She'd get over her crush, and then they'd just go back to being friends. EDI didn't feel anything back…he didn't think that way…he couldn't. Naw, he was just a computer, or something. Well, Joker didn't think he was just a computer, he was a person to her.

A person who was still intently staring at her.

"I have never seen your hair in its natural state before," EDI said quietly. "It is so…chaotic."

"That's a hell of a compliment, buddy," she scoffed. "Just want a girl wants to hear!" EDI gave one long blink. Weird reaction…did…she just hurt his feelings? Maybe she did lay the sarcasm on a bit too thick. Dammit, this whole thing was so awkward and here she was, with her hands still in her hair like an idiot. She tried to pull her fingers the rest of the way through, but no luck - a knot. Ouch. She gave up, lifting her hair over her head to slide her fingers out. EDI seemed mesmerized, watching it land everywhere.

"A synthetic mind typically prefers patterns. The logic is…soothing. However, I also enjoy the disorganized, since it is like a puzzle. Your hair is more voluminous and complex than I had expected. It is… intriguing. I 'like' it."

"Uh…"

EDI raced through his extranet bookmarks. There were billions of active conversations across millions of websites at all times about how to compliment a woman but also avoid offending her. From the scenarios of the current situation he was running, he was failing at both accounts. Multiple sources suggested the same route of conversation, which seemed too simple to be effective, but was worth an attempt.

"It's very beautiful." he said softly.

Joker grinned. "Not something I thought I'd ever heard my ship's AI say about me. Thanks, EDI." His feedbacks finally went up. "You can uh…you can touch it, if you want. I don't mind."

EDI reached out tentatively, brushing just the edge of the side of her head. Joker could feel herself starting to blush a bit. There was…definitely something going on here, there was no point pretending there wasn't.

"You were struggling before. What is wrong with your hair?"

"It's all messed up, over here. It happens all the time."

"I see. May I attempt to fix it?"

Joker nodded. EDI bent at the waist to lean forward, and started untangling her hair. It didn't take him long. "There. The problem should now be alleviated. Thank you for allowing me to work at it. Perhaps I can show you how my hair works as well. Once I…find out how it works, myself."

EDI sat back on his side of the bed, and Joker found it a hell of a lot easier to breathe again. "'Works?' Whatever you say…hey, by the way - what's in that box?"

"Of course. I had intended to reveal it sooner," he reached out to grab the box and drag it closer to the two of them. He undid the flaps. Inside were about 20 smaller boxes, half of them instant coffee and the other half energy bars.

"My favorites! Holy shit, where did you get all these? This is like a year's supply!" Joker laughed.

"The citadel. I bought out a store's stock, and sent the bill to Shepard." It was Shepard's advice, after all.

"I hope you don't get in trouble for that…but why?"

"I…thought my intention would be clear?"

"Oh yeah, it's crystal. You want me to stop eating real food and die of malnutrition, right?"

EDI didn't know what to do. This would have to be marked as a failure. Shepard's advice was so vague…he and Jen were always involved in humerous banter, EDI still didn't understand music…he should've gotten the pharmaceuticals instead. "I thought it was standard to give a gift, to show appreciation, before requesting that one plan ahead to spend time with another in a romantic capacity."

Joker stammered. "Wh-what?"

"I would like to accompany you on a 'date' at your convenience. You may choose the activity, but if you have no suggestions, I thought you may enjoy seeing the new Blasto film. There is a practice I think both of us would enjoy, in which you view the film in order to 'riff' it, which is to - "

"Yes," Joker croaked. If she didn't say something now, he wouldn't stop talking for at least 20 minutes. Besides, what other answer would she even give? She was pretty sure she was gonna have an aneurysm. Was this seriously happening?

EDI's eyes flashed. "Understood. Thank you, Jen. I am looking forward to it," he pulled her hat out of her hands, and gently placed it back on her head, then got up and left.

She reached over to the box to get herself a bar. Probably the best idea would be to stay in here a while til she regained her composure…

Jen Moreau liked to think of herself as a badass, a tough bitch with a wicked sense of humor, who was not to be messed with. She didn't become the best damn pilot in the fleet by being the sort of little girl who blushes and giggles about getting asked out, but then again, EDI had been screwing with her life since the first day they met. Why would it be different now?


End file.
